Relationships require work, time and energy. The many that are developed over our lifetime may flourish and become an everlasting friendship or even result in one life partner. Some, however, we may only experience for a short while. These relationships can put stress and tension on us, affecting our physical and mental state. When we find ourselves in some of these negative relationships, we may be putting all our energy into that other person and often forget to look after ourselves. We learn and grow from these experiences, but eventually in some cases, the best option is for both parties to go their separate ways.
Life in general can sometimes be tricky. I’ve recently seen many breakups unfold around me, including my own personal experience. The consequential feelings can be overwhelming at times, affecting not only ourselves, but also the loved ones around us.
I have learnt that it is all about how we rise above all the hardship and negativity we might temporarily feel. It is the way that we steam ahead past the mess and the noise that will bring us forward.
Be Present
Looking after your mind after any form of separation is easier said than done, but it is so important to help us to process all our thoughts and feelings which will in turn, assist us to take back ourselves and refocus on our present state and the future beyond these hard times.
Try to get out of the house and relax, while making the time to reconnect with your loved ones. Socialising or networking can re-build confidence and keep our minds at bay.
We all like to keep busy post-breakup but at the same time, remember to also slow down the mind and take time for you. Focus on regular, restful sleep, meditation and journaling to clear your thoughts which will help you to keep present.
Try apps like Calm, Simple Habit & Headspace that offer a range of guided meditations and ways to improve sleep and stress.
Be Well
We all feel better when we are looking after our bodies.
Simply just getting out of the house to do physical activity, running errands and keeping busy whether it is just catching up with friends can be a great motivation
Daily exercise, whether it be an intense workout or a brisk walk can ease our anxious thoughts and support the body to relax and unwind.
In stressful times, you may want to reach for the quick and easy snack or takeaway food but by limiting sugar and excess salt and generally eating a balanced diet ensuring you are upping your greens intake, and you will avoid spikes in blood pressure and dehydration. Your body will thank you for it.
Speaking of dehydration, it can be easy to skip out on those extra glasses of water when you are catching up for all those coffees with the girls post breakup.
Keeping on top of water intake and minimising alcohol intake is so important to keep your skin glowing, help with feeling sluggish and you’ll have a better night’s sleep.
Get Creative
I found that when I have been in a toxic relationship, I often forget about the things I really enjoy doing and don’t make enough time for ‘me’ time. This behaviour can result in resentment to yourself and your partners and simply by acknowledging that you may have lost those times for yourself, you can always win them back.
Habits can be broken and although it may take a little persistence, there is no reason why you cannot rediscover your joys and passion. What better way to reconnect with yourself than with the things you enjoy the most on your own.
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Editor’s Note:
The DIY options above can be used to complement the many professional outlets available. Speaking with a trained mental health professional can be a great help with the management of stress, depression and anxiety.
If you or a loved one are needing mental health support, organisations such as Beyond Blue and Lifeline provide information and support.
By Genevieve Reynolds
